Not everything was good in the media landscape during the last decade, so to balance out my previous top 10 lists I have to talk about the bad stuff. These are six games, movies, shows, or albums that greatly disappointed me. Disappointment involves having a previous liking, fondness, or hope in something, so I don’t necessarily hate the following but rather was severely let down by them.

6. Pokémon Sword/Shield

Pokémon Sword and Shield are fun games, I’ve already clocked more than 30 hours in my file. Despite this, they are very disappointing to me. These were the first mainline Pokémon games on a home console (Let’s Go Pikachu/Eevee don’t count) and developer Game Freak’s laziness is apparent everywhere.

The most obvious example is the cutting of more than half of the Pokédex, “Gotta catch ’em all” no more. The 3D models are evidently recycled from previous games, but they couldn’t bother to port all the previous ones over. Graphics look like upscaled 3DS visuals and feature horrendous pop-up that’s inexcusable in 2019. The world design is exteremely linear and boring, except for the Wild Area (that’s a cool idea). Max Raids are not fun, but rather frustrating and uninsipired. And the list goes on.

Still, these games sold like crazy and they do have some good stuff in it. The new Pokémon designs are still pretty creative and inspired and the music is amazing. Pokémon, I love you, but you can do A LOT better.

5. Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald

crimes grindelwald

I consider myself a moderate Harry Potter fan. I read all the books, even the fanfic-y script for Cursed Child (which I cannot judge as harshly without seeing the play) and watched all the movies. I respect and admire J.K. Rowling for her creativity and imagination that created a worldwide beloved franchise. I thought the first Fantastic Beasts movie was OK, I did enjoy it and hence thought that things could only improve in the sequel, right? Wrong!

The worst sin of The Crimes of Grindelwald is just how BORING it is. The plot is convoluted and suffers from too much characters doing nothing interesting. There are some very stupid story decisions, like the lame romantic misunderstanding between Newt and Tina, the shying away from Dumbledore’s sexuality, random, unnecessary baby murder (twice!), a surprise Dumbledore sibling (this might change in the following movies), Nagini is a human and serves nothing to the plot, and some more I’m probably forgetting.

J.K. writes good stories, but not good scripts. WB shouldn’t let her write the following movies, or at least bring in some help.

4. The Handmaid’s Tale (TV Show)


The Handmaid’s Tale started out as a faithful adaptation of Margaret Atwood’s novel, the first season covering the original book. It was shocking, gripping, tense, frightening, and very socially relevant. Without more source material to adapt, however, the show turned into a repetitive, glacially paced torture porn borefest.

When you set up the rules for a fictional world, disregarding or ignoring them constantly breaks the suspension of disbelief and makes the story fall apart. June should’ve been killed a thousand times by season three, but her plot armor is so thick that there is no suspense anymore. The fakeouts of her escaping Gilead are so tiresome now that I don’t care anymore. Those lingering close-up shots with a monologue from Elizabeth Moss were interesting the first times, but after seeing them for the hundreth time you feel exhausted.

Meh. At least Atwood released The Testaments and gave a (arguably) satisfying conclusion to Gilead.

3. Utopia by Björk


I’m all for experimentation in music, but Björk is just fucking with us now. Utopia is avant-garde pop that is not pleasurable to listen to. There are almost no hooks or interesting melodies to latch on to, the Arca beats are cringe-worthy to put it mildly, and songs are just too long without creating an interesting progression to justify it, they just fall flat.

To give her credit, she creates some pretty unique fairy-tale-esque atmospheres that are enjoyable, but would probably serve better as background music for a movie or videogame. By trimming the excess fat, getting rid of those awful glitch drums, and adding some more interesting melodies, this album would actually be very nice. Those nice flutes and inventive music videos are wasted here.

2. Silent Hill


Silent Hill was once a very respectable survival horror franchise (I love 2 and 3 to death). Although it never reached Resident Evil popularity, it steadily gained its good reputation with its unique setting, monsters and psychological horror. The last decade, however, saw this reputation being dragged through the mud by stupid choices made by Konami.

The games after the fourth were not developed in Japan anymore and thus lost their unique Japanese horror sensibility. The two Hollywood movies were a mess, the second one in particular is one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen in a theater. The Silent HD collection was a horrible glitch-ridden mess that performed worse despite being in newer generation hardware.

And when things started to look promising again with a new game developed by Hideo Kojima, Guillermo del Toro and (almost) Junji Ito, Konami shut it down. How the hell do you fuck this up? Ugh. RIP Silent Hill.

1. Game of Thrones


By now everyone knows Game of Thrones’ ending sucked. but this was a special kind of sucking because it retroactively made the series impossible to rewatch now, knowing it’s all for nothing. All the fascinating, complex characters and mysteries built during the previous years came crashing down violently. Nothing mattered in the end, the plot became nonsensical, characters turned into complete idiots, others were killed just to get rid of the clutter, and some others were kept alive because of fanservice.

The number one show in the last decade, the global phenomenon, the ratings (and piracy) king was killed in front of our eyes and we sat and watched and died inside. This show will go down in television history as a perfect example of how to turn gold into a turd. At least we have the books for a satisfying conclusion… Just kidding, George R.R. Martin will never finish them ☹️.

Music enjoyment is quite subjective, a lot more than any other types of art in my opinion. Sometimes you just can’t describe, or don’t have the vocabulary to describe why you like something, you just FEEL it. So I’ll try my best to explain or comment on why these are my favorite albums of the past decade. I know some of this stuff is not too mainstream, so I’ve included the Spotify (and Soundcloud in one case) links to listen. Hopefully now I can answer the question of what kind of music I listen to, because I never know what to say.

10. Metric – Synthetica


Metric’s fifth studio album is pretty well rounded collection of energetic, catchy, rock-pop songs. As the name implies, the lyrics and music revolve around the concept of the real vs. the artificial/synthetic. The very first opening line: “I’m just as fucked up as they say”, just oozes cool.

Favorite Tracks:

  • Artificial Nocturne
  • Breathing Underwater
  • The Wanderlust
  • Nothing But Time

9. Gotye – Making Mirrors


I already knew about Gotye from his previous album Like Drawing Blood and when Making Mirrors broke out to the mainstream with Someone That I Used to Know song and its video I was quite surprised. This relatively unknown musician suddenly had a massive hit and was EVERYWHERE. Something about that song just clicked with the general public I guess, but then it went away. The album is actually quite good and a bit more subdued than expected. The video for State Of The Art is fun and creepy too.

Favorite Tracks:

  • Easy Way Out
  • Eyes Wide Open
  • State Of The Art
  • Bronte

8. NOMAN – Roaring Children


NOMAN is the name of Belgian Kaat Arnaert’s solo project. This first album is full of angst, sadness, sorrow, frustration, gloominess… you get the point. So if you’re into that kind of dramatic, downtempo and slightly experimental music, this is a very recommended listen.

Favorite Tracks:

  • Baby Come Home
  • Fish
  • Honey
  • Wait

7. Goldfrapp – Tales of Us


Tales Of Us finds Golfrapp at its most dreamy and cinematic. Every song (sans one) are called by a person’s name, reavealing short stories about these people. Alison’s voice is breathy and heavy with melancholia, as if she were revealing her secrets to your ear. It’s a quite sophisticated and rich listening experience. 

Favorite Tracks:

  • Annabel
  • Drew
  • Thea
  • Stranger

6. Geike – Lost in Time


On her second solo album, Geike Arnaert, former Hooverphonic vocalist, let go of her former band’s sound, instead opting for a more bare, clean sound that lets her voice carry the songs. Her singing is rather restrained and modest here, without feeling the need to show off . You can tell this songs are meaningful to her, and that makes for a beautiful listen. There’s also an very cool b-side that wasn’t included in the record for some reason.

Favorite Tracks:

  • Sea of Fools
  • Question
  • Sirens Call
  • Orion

5. Garbage – Strange Little Birds


For their sixth studio album, Garbage went a little bit darker than usual, and that is definitely a good thing. The opening Sometimes sets the mood very clearly. It seems like reflecting on the current state of the world has given Shirley new lyrical ideas to play with. The general sound is unmistakeably Garbage rock-pop, so no big surprises. The slow songs kill it as usual and Amends is a fantastic closer which builds and builds until the very satisfying release.

Favorite Tracks:

  • If I Lost You
  • We Never Tell
  • Teaching Little Fingers To Play
  • Amends

4. Hooverphonic – Reflection


Ditching their trademark strings and studio sound, Hooverphonic created an album recorded outside a regular studio, instead prefering to perform inside other people’s houses. This pecularity gives the album a very warm, organic, and a bit imperfect sound. The songs are all accesible, short. and sweet, resulting in a constantly pleasent pop experience, which is sometimes all you want.

Favorite Tracks:

  • Amalfi
  • Boomerang
  • Wait For a While
  • Copper (CU)

3. Tommigun – Pretenders


Belgian indie rock band Tommigun are relatively unknown (this album is not in Spotify for whatever reason) and it’s a real shame. I find their sound very appealing, especially the mix of male and female vocals. There is something so unpretentious about their sound that I can’t help but like a lot.

Favorite Tracks:

  • Ride With Me
  • Moonshine Moon
  • Sun On My Face
  • Pretenders

2. Kashmir – E.A.R.


The first time I listened to Kashmir I thought they sounded like Radiohead wannabes, but as their sound matured they’ve established their own experimental identity. I would describe E.A.R. as an introvert album, sometimes gloomy and subdued, but also revealing a hidden beauty from time to time. There are some really beautiful melodies here and the lyrics are poetry to my ears.

Favorite Tracks:

  • Piece Of The Sun
  • Peace In The Heart
  • Milk For The Black Hearted
  • Seraphina

1. The Gathering – Disclosure


The evolution of Dutch band The Gathering from doom/gothic metal to trip-rock (self described term) is fascinating to me, and Disclosure is the logical and perfect culmination of their many years of career. It ticks all my boxes: beautiful female vocals, melancholic melodies and lyrics, rich, layered atmospheres and a blend of pop sensibilities with a more experimental prog-rock. In an era of consuming media as quickly as possible, these songs take their time to breathe (some are very long) to create an immersive and rewarding experience. I Can See Four Miles blew my mind the first time I listened to it and still does today. I will always love this album.

Favorite Tracks:

  • Meltdown
  • Heroes for Ghosts
  • Gemini I
  • I Can See Four Miles

Choosing my top movies was a very hard process, maybe because you watch too many movies in the span of ten years. I decided to be honest with myself and put the ones I enjoyed the most instead of the ones I know are “objectively” the best.

10. The Big Sick


The Big Sick is a poignant romantic comedy based on the real life story of its protagonist. Kumail is a struggling stand-up comedian that falls in love with a girl he hooked up with, and after dating and breaking up, she falls severly ill and has to be hospitalized. The movie doesn’t fall into the usual rom-com clichés and actually explores intercultural relationships though its characters. There is a palpable honesty to this love story that fills my heart with warm feelings.

9. Annihilation


A group of scientists have to enter a continously expanding quarantined zone called the Shimmer, which was created from fallen meteorite. Inside, biology doesn’t follow Earth rules and instead goes very, very wrong. There is some disturbing and bizarre imagery that is also very beautiful in a weird way. It is not a perfect movie, but the concept alone sells it for me. The ending creature is just so incomprehensible that I loved it.

8. Bridesmaids


Kristen Wiig is hilarious and so is this movie. The jokes are continuous and the whole cast seems to be always having fun, so even if a joke doesn’t land (they can get raunchy) you can’t help but smile all the way through. And there’s also a heartfelt story centered around the friendship between two women, which was refreshing to see at the time. Very rewatchable.

7. Logan


I’ve always had a notalgic soft spot for the X-Men because of their popularity in the 90’s. The movie franchise under FOX was pretty uneven to say the least, but Logan stands out as the best one if you take it as a standalone piece (continuity be damned). It’s a mature exploration of Wolverine as a character and how he deals with failure and a world that doesn’t need him anymore, until he meets Laura, aka X-23. In some regards, it reminded me of Joel and Ellie’s journey in The Last of Us game. Logan finds a reason to live by protecting and caring for her surrogate daughter and it’s a beautiful relationship that leads to a bittersweet send-off for the iconic superhero.

6. Coco


Pixar did what no Mexican animation studio has been able to do yet, honor our culture while delivering a tight, well written and emotional story (looking at you crappy Día de Muertos movie). As a mexican, you recognize the hard work the animation studio did because all the little details in the characters, settings, and soundtrack (I actually own the CD) give it a very authentic feel. The story of Miguel travelling to the underworld and reconnecting with his family is really touching and when he plays Remember Me/Recuérdame to Mamá Coco you might just be dead inside if you’re not moved by it (tears are optional).

5. Spotlight


An actual Best Picture Oscar winner, Spotlight is an all-around great movie: great script, acting, directing, pacing, etc. What makes this an important movie is its subject matter: the real case of the Boston Globe’s investigation on child abuse by Catholic priests and the Church’s systematic covering and concealment of it. Shedding light on a real-world crisis through art is a pretty big deal, so props to this film.

4. Black Swan


Being an Aronofsky movie, you know from the start that Black Swan is gonna get dark, and it does, and I love it. Nina is a ballet dancer that works hard for her dream of becoming the lead in the Swan Lake, maybe too hard, to the point of losing her mind in the process. This is pure psychological horror with beautiful cinematography and a captivating performance by Natalie Portman.

3. Blue Jasmine


Cate Blanchett is enthralling as tragic Jasmine. After losing her wealth and getting back in touch with her estranged sister Ginger, she has to learn to get her life back together by working hard and being a good person. Only she cannot, or more precisely, does not WANT to do that.  This is a black comedy where shitty people get what they deserve and there is a certain satisfaction to be had when you watch an unlikeable wealthy, privileged person descend into misery by their own doing (schadenfreude is normal, right?). 

2. Hereditary


Recently, mainstream horror had become too predictable and reliable on jump scares, so Hereditary was a fresh breath of air, taking its time to become more disturbing as it goes on and actually delivering a plot twist halfway that severely impacted the plot. The first half of the film actually plays out like a drama about a grief-stricken family, and later on when the supernatural occurs we know these people well enough to understand why they act like they do. Toni Collette gives an amazing performance and practically carries the movie herself. There is very haunting imagery throughout but just as unsettling are the scenes where the family speaks out their repressed anger and trauma. 

1. Toy Story 4


Instead of creating a bigger, more out-there story (like, I don’t know, a war between toys and humans), Toy Story 4 scales down the scope and deals with the natural progression of Woody’s journey after leaving Andy. I find it fascinating that a kids’ movie doesn’t shy away from mature themes like finding meaning in life after abandonment or leaving your family behind to pursue your own happiness. There are very clear human-God and parent-child metaphors in display, which make for very good food for thought. And above all that, the movie is very funny and stunning to look at. This movie shouldn’t be this good, but Pixar somehow did it again! 

Honorable Mentions:

  • Roma
  • Parasite
  • Your Name
  • Melancholia
  • Ex Machina
  • The Witch
  • The Favourite
  • Spider-Man: Into de Spider-Verse
  • Two Days, One Night

It’s time to list my favorite TV shows from the last decade. Since they tend to last several seasons, some might have not begun during the decade but did end in the 2010’s.

10. Game of Thrones


Game of Thrones was a phenomenon like none seen before in TV, a series that proved fantasy could be taken seriously as a prestige drama AND be immensely popular. For the first five or six seasons (debatable) the writing was top-notch and it seemed it was destined to become the best show of all time. Then the last two seasons happened and it all went to hell. Though the production values were always a sight to behold, even the best cinematography, score, acting, and special effects could not save an atrocious script. I don’t ever want to watch this series again and wouldn’t even recommend it, but it was superb before it crashed and burned.

9. Parks and Recreation


On first impression Parks and Recreation would appear to be a The Office knockoff, but soon the show develops its own identity. It reminded me of early Simpsons when the humor was still grounded. The town of Pawnee is like Springfield, filled with goofy side characters. Leslie Knope is a refreshing main character, her comedy comes from being TOO positive and caring for others, which is very refreshing and makes the show very feel-good. Though it’s an episodic series, there were plot and character arcs that got resolved in the very emotional season finales. And above all, I have a massive crush on Adam Scott.

8. Dollhouse

Dollhouse - 2009

This extremely underrated Joss Whedon series barely made the list (the last episode aired in January 29, 2010). While never gaining the same cult following as Buffy or Firefly, Dollhouse was really entertaining TV. It had action, drama, sci-fi, comedy, and witty dialogue. The show also dealt with heavy existential themes and ethical dilemmas, some very similar to the ones Westworld would touch upon years later. And the plot twists were many and always very clever (except maybe one in the last few episodes).

7. Bojack Horseman


An animated comedy about an antropomorphic horse celebrity living in Hollywood shouldn’t also work as an effective drama, but it does. Visual gags and quirky characters are everywhere, but undeneath it all there is an ongoing reflection on depression and mental health. It is fun and sad and very enjoyable. It would be higher in the list if it wasn’t for Todd (which annoys me to no end).

6. Puella Magi Madoka Magica


Growing up I was a huge Sailor Moon fan, so the premise of Madoka was immediately appealing to me. What would happen if a magical girl show was deconstructed in a similar vein as Evangelion and the mecha genre? Young girls in super cute outfits, an adorable mascot, magic, and battles against mosters; these elements are all there but there is also darkness, grimness and real stakes at play (girls can actually die). The artstyle is very unique too, with monsters (aka witches) being represented in bizarre or abstract artstyles. The show is only 12 episodes (and a movie) but it was enough to leave a great impact on me.

5. XY


Mexican TV series don’t really have a good reputation. Even today, the mexican shows put out by Netflix or Amazon tend to be average at best. But at the beginning of the decade XY proved that quality television can be achieved in my country. The show revolves around an editorial group that runs a men’s magazine. The show is unique in that it tackles issues of masculinity (hence the title) and what it means to be a man in contemporary mexican society. The show’s social critique is so sharp and the magazine eventually touches upon themes of politics and media influence that there was a rumor going around that higher ups wanted to cancel the show to avoid controversy. It is a crime that this show isn’t easily available to watch. 

4. Breaking Bad


Everyone knows Breaking Bad is one of the best shows of all time, it is common knowledge by now. Walter White’s journey from unremarkable chemistry teacher to coldhearted owner of a drug empire is done so, so well that without even noticing you end up rooting for a despicable man, because we understand his reasons. The cat and mouse game between Walter and the authorities is always suspenseful to watch and the tragedy that befalls the family and Jessee is trully heartbreaking. When Walter finally (SPOILER) dies, after all the damage he caused you’re left with tons of conflicting emotions.

3. Peep Show

Peep Show

This show is HILARIOUS. The series follows Mark and Jeremy, two young men (I’m tempted to say losers) living their average lives in a flat in London. Mark is an uptight office worker and Jeremy is a slacker. They’ve got a very disfunctional and codependant relationship, that is very amusing to watch unfold. The gimmick of the show is that it’s shot in first person view and we hear the protagonists’ inner monologues. The formula works so well I don’t know why it hasn’t been replicated (to my knowledge). Episodes and seasons are short, so it is a very binge-able show.

2. Succession


Succession is only two seasons as I’m writing this, but it has already blown me away. It shares some similarities with my number 1 pick, it’s a grounded drama elevated by its writing and acting, with some dark humor from time to time. The main characters are all interesting, (very) flawed people and watching Logan’s children struggle and fail to become the successor for a powerful media empire is a delight. 

1. Mad Men


Mad Men is a show about an ad agency in 60’s New York and the people that work in it. There are no big special effects, action sequences, or crazy plot twists, just excellent writing and incredible acting. No other series has such fleshed out and flawed characters like Don, Peggy, Betty, Joan, Roger, Pete, or even Megan. They feel like real people and we care about them. Protagonist Don Draper is tragic yet compeling, a womanizing man who appears to have it all while self-destructing underneath the facade. Watching Mad Men feels like reading a novel, it’s very dense with content and themes that you could write tons of essays about it. The series is a slow burn, but so effective that Don and Peggy arguing over a commercial is a series highlight and one of my favorite scenes of all time. 

Since it’s almost 2020, it’s time to look back at the past ten years and make lists, because everyone likes top 10’s. Here are my favorite games from the past decade.

10. The King of Fighters XIII


This game is GORGEOUS. The pixel art is super detailed, vibrant and incredibly well animated. We will probably never get a 2D fighter as pretty as this one. The gameplay is very tight as well. I’ve been a longtime KOF fan and the mix of classic gameplay and eye candy fills me with joy.

9. Portal 2


Clever, charming first-person puzzle-shooter with nice writing too (GLaDOS and Wheatley are the funniest robots ever). Where’s the Switch port of Portal 1 and 2?

8. Hollow Knight


A Metroidvania with a bit of Dark Souls flavor set in a moody underground bug world. Everyone should download this game, it’s crazy cheap for so much quality content.

7. Celeste


An insanely difficult platformer made less frustrating by charming pixel art and a great soundtrack. The plot deals with mental health issues, handled in a very touching way. Even though I died thousands of times, I smiled all the way through.

6. The Last of Us

The Last of Us™ Remastered_20160414141835

Videogame storytelling at its finest. There’s no survival horror as visceral and poignant as this one. The production values are top notch too. 

5. Undertale


An instant cult classic, made almost entirely by just one guy (Tobyfox)! Deconstructing the old school RPG formula, think Earthbound, Undertale creates a unique experience that couldn’t be replicated on any other medium. The cast of characters are all very lovable, even random NPCs are full of personality. The soundtrack is a gem, so much that it has been played by video game orchestras. Don’t be fooled by the naive graphics, this game is spectacular.

4. Super Smash Bros. Ultimate


A crossover that no one could’ve imagined 20 years ago. It is truly incredible that this game even exists with so many characters and such respect for them and gaming history. Ultimate makes all previous Smash games obsolete and is still expanding its content with DLC. Smash is always fun.

3. Dark Souls


I got into Dark Souls a little late, after playing the remastered version on Switch. I’d mostly heard that its ruthless difficulty was its main appeal, but it is so much more than that. Lordran looks like a common medieval fantasy land, but you soon get to know it’s actually a cruel, decaying land filled with people and creatures that want you VERY dead. It’s an action RPG that punishes and rewards both in great measure. You will die, hundreds of times, but getting better at the game is extremely addicting and satisfying. Trying to figure out the cryptic lore if also very entertaining.

2. Bloodborne


Dark Souls, but with a more aggressive gameplay and a Gothic-Victorian horror setting. If H.P. Lovecraft were alive he’d love this game.

1. The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild


This game has been so hyped before and after its release, and it DESERVES it. A true open-world game like none before, Hyrule feels like a real place you can (and will) get lost in. Just walking around and exploring the huge world is fun in itself. The sense of wonder and discovery is one that I had not felt in a long, long time. This game sets the bar very high for future Zelda games and adventure games in general. 

[Some book and TV series spoilers]

I read Margaret Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale after watching the first few episodes of the TV series. The book was a fascinating read because Gilead, unlike other fictional dystopias, felt like something that could actually happen or may be even going on right now, to some extent, in some parts of the world. Social anxieties from the 80’s like women’s reproductive rights and oppressive gender roles are, sadly, still very relevant today, making the book feel eerily current.

The original novel’s subject matter is no easy read as the acts of cruelty done to woman are deplorable and infuriating, and worse of all based on historical practices according to Atwood. Offred’s narration reads like a disorienting and claustrophobic nightmare, something the first season of the series captures perfectly (minus some questionable “badass” musical montages). The book is ambiguous about the protagonist’s fate (not even her real name is revealed) but the epilogue leaves a glimpse of hope when it confirms that Gilead would eventually fall.

The second season of the TV show continued directly after Offred’s book ending and stretched out her story to exhausting lengths, leading to a third and even more confirmed seasons to come. I must confess I stopped watching after the first couple of episode into the third season, since it started feeling like glacially paced misery porn not even Elisabeth Moss’s great performance could make bearable. After spoiling myself the latest season’s ending I don’t think I’ll give the show another chance, since the speculative fiction turning into almost fantasy isn’t sitting well on me.

Enter The Testaments, Atwood’s direct sequel to the original book, released 34 years after the original and set 15 years after The Handmaid’s Tale ending. Not following the TV series canon, the story follows three different women affected by Gilead’s regime, none of them handmaids. After being disappointed by the repetitive TV show, this is a very welcomed breath of fresh air. Horrific and tragic things do happen, but hope is more prevalent this time around, leading to a satisfying conclusion.

Aunt Lydia, one of the most captivating antagonists from the first book and the series, is now a point of view character and is fascinatingly fleshed out. Through Offred’s eyes, the aunt was a cruel and hateful woman, but The Testaments lets Lydia speak for herself. Her chapters are presented as her own written testimony and reveal her moral complexity and sometimes even evoke sympathy for her. Yes, she has committed atrocious acts but we get an understanding of her reasons. In fact she is one of the key figures to the downfall of Gilead, with the help of Agnes and Daisy, the other two main characters.

Agnes is a girl raised in Gilead by a Commander and a Wife, after being separated from her mother at a very early age. Her story is as compelling as Aunt Lydia’s because it showcases the way education works under the regime and the psychological impact it has on the children, particularly the “privileged” girls like her friend Becka. Learning to be a dutiful wife coupled with the suppression of her real desires creates unmanageable distress and a pessimistic view of life, not far away from considering suicide as a viable option to escape. Her only other choice to avoid her unwanted fate is becoming an aunt with the help of Aunt Lydia.

Daisy is a rebellious teenage girl living in Canada with her adoptive parents. Of the three protagonists, her journey is the weakest one in my opinion, playing out too much like a conventional YA chosen one journey without any subversion. After tragedy strikes, Daisy is taken by the Mayday organization, which had already been established in the first book as an underground rebellion group that helped handmaids and children escape from Gilead while also working to take down the government.

Not everything is wrong with Daisy’s part though. Her chapters are actually the most dynamic and add a real sense of urgency, compared to the more subdued psychological conflicts of the other two women. We also get more world building through the introduction of the Pearl Girls, missionaries who recruit girls from around the world to bring to Gilead. Additionally, we get a glimpse of how Canadians and other nations deal with Gilead, something only previously shown in the series.

As expected, the three stories eventually converge and everyone has a part to play in Gilead’s inevitable downfall. The final act comprises of the adventure Agnes and Daisy escaping from Gilead with key information while Aunt Lydia deals with the chaos that ensues and her enemies close to finding out her real agenda. 

I consider The Testaments a success at exploring more facets of Gilead ripe for dissection. Atwood’s decision to shift the focus away from the handmaids and the use of a time skip were very much needed, there is just so much handmaid suffering we can endure before exhaustion, as the show proves.

The exploration of Aunt Lydia’s psyche was a very welcome surprise. Feeling sympathy for her is complicated because we know she is capable of consciously abusing others, but nonetheless she is still a woman living under an oppressive, unjust system where women hold on to whatever power they can amass. And she is indeed playing a long term game by helping Mayday while risking her own life in the process. Aunts and wives are indeed complicit in perpetuating misogyny as means of self-preservation. What we do with that idea is up to the reader, but it is symbolic that Aunt Lydia’s statue is shown as a decaying relic of the past.

Atwood makes it clear that the theocratic, fascist Gilead is rotten at its very core and its injustices and power imbalance are the reasons for its eventual collapse. A society where women (and minorities) are not full persons cannot prosper, a lesson that the world unfortunately needs right now.

The original Handmaid’s Tale is a classic and The Testaments is a worthy follow-up. The novels create a wholesome experience that doesn’t actually need the TV show to be fully appreciated. It is a scaringly-close-to-reality tale that echoes current bigoted, misogynistic discourses in politics and religion. That is the real terror we should keep an eye on.

“En esta vida no todos obtienen lo que quieren”, le dice el ama de llaves a Eve casi al final de La camarista, tras negarle un merecido ascenso. Este primer largometraje de Lila Avilés nos enfrenta a esta realidad, la de miles de personas cuyo empleo no tiene reconocimiento o recompensa satisfactoria, aquellos trabajadores invisibilizados que contribuyen a que el sistema siga funcionando. La mirada sobria de Avilés, casi documental, hacia este mundo no pretende dar una moraleja sino ser un campo fértil para la reflexión.

La camarista guarda algunas similitudes con Roma de Alfonso Cuarón al ser un slice of life de una trabajadora cuya labor no siempre es bien agradecida por sus empleadores. Evelina (Gabriela Cartol) es una chica de 24 años que tiene que trabajar en un hotel ejecutivo para mantener a su hijo. La mayor parte de su vida transcurre dentro del edificio donde labora, donde la gente alrededor de ella espera resultados y subordinación. El trato con los huéspedes es prácticamente nulo, algunas veces indigno, siempre bajo una dinámica implícita de sumisión, pues los únicos deseos que importan son los del cliente.

Eve recupera su humanidad momentáneamente cuando habla por teléfono con su hijo, un recordatorio de que debe aguantar el día a día por el bien mayor. Su relación con otros empleados, particularmente Minitoy, también ayudan a mitigar el tedio y dan un escape momentáneo a las repetitivas y arduas tareas de Eve. Pero la protagonista no está resignada a su condición actual, sus acciones indican que quiere superarse, sin embargo las condiciones de su entorno no siempre lo permitirán. Cuando no le dan un esperado ascenso o las clases para empleados son abruptamente canceladas, no hay lugar para la queja. Hay más habitaciones por asear y el sistema no permite que alguien sea improductivo.

A diferencia de Roma, cuya fotografía y dirección creaban cuadros hermosos, casi poéticos, que enaltecían escenas cotidianas, en La camarista las imágenes son claustrofóbicas y opresivas, llegando incluso a ser abstractas ocasionalmente. Sin recurrir al melodrama y libre de idealizaciones, entendemos perfectamente la frustración y enojos de Eve. Cuando las adversidades llegan, no tenemos opción más que absorberlas y guardarlas, pues rara vez se nos permite la catarsis.

La película de Avilés no tiene necesariamente el objetivo de entretener: es lenta, silenciosa y no está preocupada por crear escenas dramáticas si no son necesarias. El disfrute de ver esta obra está directamente ligada a la capacidad de empatía y esfuerzo intelectual que se quiera emplear. Ver a Eve trabajar a solas en tareas mundanas como tallar una bañera o atendiendo a personas ingratas, sin ningún tipo de exageración, deja en el espectador la tarea de encontrarle significado.

Personalmente, La camarista (al igual que Roma) me parece una película imprescindible para comprender el México en el que vivimos, para tener una visión más amplia que vaya más allá de la vida de la gente rica y su opulencia o los problemas de violencia que vive el país. La desigualdad social, el clasismo y el racismo son un lado oscuro del país que no queremos ver (en el cine), por eso es importante enfrentarlo y mostrarlo honestamente. Por eso es importante dignificar y darle voz a aquellos que la sociedad nos ha hecho pensar que no importan. Eve es un personaje digno, fuerte y que no se da por vencido a pesar de que a su entorno no le interesa si triunfa o no. El final abierto no nos da un indicio sobre su futuro, si su vida será buena o mala. Eso ya es decisión del espectador, así como pensarlo dos veces antes de hacer un tiradero en un hotel porque “alguien más lo va a limpiar”.

Si no todos vamos a cumplir nuestros sueños, debemos aprender a encontrar la felicidad en las cosas pequeñas. Yo quisiera creer en el goce de aprender algo nuevo, de platicar con los amigos, de leer por gusto o incluso de la esperanza de recibir un vestido rojo del lost and found.

Este año se celebra el 40 aniversario del lanzamiento de El vampiro de la colonia Roma de Luis Zapata, así que me decidí a leerlo tras haber escuchado y leído muchas cosas buenas sobre él. Y efectivamente, ya entiendo por qué es un clásico y por qué causó tanta controversia en 1979.

Adonis García, un huérfano que tiene que recurrir a la prostitución para sobrevivir, es un protagonista con una voz fresca y original, incluso para estándares de 2019. Lo que lo hace muy interesante de leer es que disfruta su sexualidad plenamente, sin remordimiento o culpa. Aún hoy en día es muy común leer o ver historias donde los personajes gays viven atormentados por sus deseos sexuales, en un melodrama de confusión y autoflagelación. Adonis es un grato respiro a este cliché, revolucionario en su momento incluso. El sexo homosexual en este libro se maneja sin tabúes ni connotaciones inmorales, algo muy disruptivo para su tiempo.

La novela está estructurada en capítulos que corresponden a cintas de audio donde el protagonista se explaya sobre su historia personal y vida diaria. El monólogo de Adonis es ágil, ameno y muchas veces gracioso. De hecho el texto carece de puntuación, logrando un efecto convincente de estar escuchando a una persona real hablando. Tal vez mi única crítica con esto sería el uso de muletillas, algunas veces excesivas y distractoras.

Una trama como tal no existe; lo que se nos presenta en El vampiro es una serie de anécdotas y relatos cotidianos sin un conflicto central que guíe la historia por los puntos narrativos convencionales. Lo que sí se logra es obtener una visión general de la vida homosexual en la Ciudad de México/DF, pre-internet y pre-VIH, así como la actitud general de la sociedad al respecto.

La importancia del sexo y las dificultades que conlleva encontrarlo es un tema siempre presente en la novela. Durante esta época, conocer a otros hombres era un reto que involucraba aprender un lenguaje de comunicación no verbal (miradas, poses y actitudes), conocer y responder a las señales e identificar los puntos de encuentro; todo esto mientras se evade a la autoridad que reprendería estos comportamientos. Sabiendo jugar el juego, Adonis libra todos los obstáculos para acostarse con otros hombres, por trabajo, diversión, convivencia o simplemente para escapar de la realidad.

A pesar de las adversidades que atraviesa constantemente, como quedar huérfano o adquirir infecciones de transmisión sexual, Adonis parece nunca perder su optimismo. La prostitución como forma de ganarse la vida se presenta como una elección, algo incluso disfrutable. Pero Zapata no idealiza este estilo de vida; las ganas de vivir libremente y sin dirección cobran factura en la salud de Adonis, quien cae en el alcoholismo y la depresión al enfrentarse la incertidumbre de su futuro. En las últimas cintas se revela el tremendo sufrimiento por el que atraviesa, incluso temiendo por su vida si sigue así.

El final queda abierto, sin una respuesta sobre qué hará nuestro protagonista más adelante en su vida cuando ya no pueda vender su cuerpo. Es un sobreviviente en el paisaje urbano del México conservador del 79, una pieza de un rompecabezas más grande. Afortunadamente, aunque la vida no le favorezca y habite al margen de la sociedad, Adonis nunca se presenta como una figura trágica (ni aspiracional). Simplemente es un hombre siguiendo sus impulsos y sus propias reglas, afrontando las consecuencias de salirse del prototipo del hombre tradicional mexicano.

En 2019, leer El vampiro es asomarse a una ventana al pasado, donde podemos comprobar cuánto hemos avanzado en materia de visibilidad, aceptación y derechos. Los cambios sociales han brindado a la comunidad LGBT+ más apertura para vivir su vida abiertamente, ya no excluidos de la sociedad sino como parte integral de ella. Salir del clóset ya no es algo impensable y conocer a otras personas gays ya no es el reto que era anteriormente. ¿Cómo sería la vida de Adonis si hubiera crecido en esta época? Tal vez más feliz…

Educated: A Memoir by Tara Westover is a tough book to read, not because the form of the text itself is complicated, but because of the uncomfortable, sometimes disturbing, abusive situations we experience through Tara’s eyes. However, this also makes it very inspiring and hopeful when we see her flourish and grow up against all odds. As the title says, the book is nonfiction and deals with the author’s life growing up in a (mostly) secluded Mormon family in Idaho. Homeschooled and sheltered, Tara does not get to know the “real world” until she goes to college, after overcoming her family’s wishes. She has to ultimately face the difficult choice of following the path her family wants for her or creating her own.

From the get go, Tara makes it is clear that this family’s way of life heavily revolves around religious teachings and these ideals are to be followed and cherished above all else. Tara’s father is the unquestionable patriarch of the family and his beliefs shape the lives of his wife and children to a sometimes dangerous degree. One of the first things we learn about them is that before the year 2000, the family is constantly reminded of the incoming end of the world and that they should prepare for it by saving up food. After New Year, though, the paranoia ends abruptly when the world doesn’t actually end, and the previously foreboding issue is never mentioned again. Reality is malleable for Tara, her father bends and shapes her world and she, not knowing better, willingly follows.

Modern medicine and medical are is strictly forbidden by Tara’s father and this leads to disturbing consequences. A car crash where her mother suffers a severe head injury is particularly upsetting to read.  Even when she finally leaves home, Tara’s internal monologue makes it clear that her trauma and emotional wounds still haunt her. She has been conditioned to accept and endure pain and suffering.

Mormon girls are not supposed to want anything other than to be housewives and have lots of children. Women are taught to surrender to men and males get the privilege to order and subjugate their wives or even other female relatives. When Tara reaches puberty, her brother Shawn becomes a constant threat, with their interactions reading like a horror story. Misogynistic and cruel, he bullies and abuses Tara physically and psychologically whenever he has the chance. Him acting kind from time to time leaves Tara confused and unable to completely hate him. Her parents won’t believe or acknowledge the situation and thus Tara is gaslighted into thinking it’s her fault. She undeservingly gets called a “whore” and a “slut” but she cannot complain. Westover describes this dynamic of abuse in such a detailed way that we understand why she bottles up and prefers to keep quiet.

Through curiosity and sheer will, Westover realizes she deserves a better life. She sneakily reads science and math books and even gets to take dance lessons (using clothes that cover her up completely), but she is always questioning if she deserves to do what she wants. This is the frustrating main theme of the story. Emotional abuse is something that you carry with you through all your life and growing out of it is a painful, constant process.

Tara eventually gets into college and studies abroad, but her family is always on her mind in one way or another. A phone call or an email from them has the power to reawaken feelings of self-deprecation and shame. She sees herself as an impostor, undeserving of being around other more well-adjusted students. Her achievements are not something her family approve or are proud of, but are rather actually used to shame her from straying away from her loving home and religion. What makes it all more complicated is that she truly, really loves her family, but they are not good for her. Fortunately, two of her brothers who also left home come to support her eventually.

It is satisfying to learn Tara has come very far from where she began, but there is no true happy ending to the story. Growing up and finding yourself is an ongoing process. Our upbringing shapes us, but does not ultimately define us. We cannot let others dictate our path because happiness and life fulfillment come from knowing and nurturing our true self, even if it is irreconcilable with others’ beliefs. Sometimes there is no middle ground and we may have to decide if the people that love us but restrain us from achieving happiness are worth to keep around.